A {baby} for the Olivers

Our hearts are full and my belly is too! We are extremely happy to be 17 weeks pregnant with a baby girl!

On January 9th, I took a pregnancy test and saw two pink lines. I was pregnant. When Jose came home from work, I shared the news with him and we hugged and prayed together. This was an unexpected surprise.

A few weeks later, we went in to the doctor for our first appointment and saw our tiny 6 week old baby. It was barely the size of a grain of rice, but we were able to hear the heartbeat. That was an incredible moment. To know that I really was growing a tiny human inside of me.

After the appointment, we shared the news with our families and close friends. We just couldn't wait to share the joy! Our family was so surprised! We all enjoyed our little secret for just a few more weeks until Jose and I shared our announcement on facebook. Our player 3 is coming soon...

On April 5th, Jose and I went in for an ultrasound at 16 weeks exactly. I was so scared, but so excited. I had felt like maybe mother nature was just playing a prank and I wasn't really pregnant; like maybe it was just a fluke and I wasn't really going to have a baby. During this ultrasound, I could either find out the gender of our baby, or baby would not cooperate, or perhaps something unexpected would be seen and they would tell me I was dying or something. The unknown scared me the most. But once we got in and they looked in at the baby I heard the heartbeat and all my fears vanished. Hearing the baby's heartbeat and seeing the profile of the baby's head made it feel real again.

Then the technician said "Looks like baby is curled up in a ball, let's see if it will move." And she pushed on my belly a couple of times. I held my breath and watched as the baby stretched out, waved its arm at us and then the tech moved the sonogram down. And there we saw... "it's a girl." I looked at Jose and smiled. I was shocked to finally hear what my baby would be, and felt so much love.

A few days later we gathered our family and friends together, heard their guesses and visited with them. Then we announced our baby would be a girl! It was so much fun to see all of their reactions and talk to them about our baby. My brother even came up with a nickname for her. As a little girl, my dad liked to call me Poobie, or Pooh Bear. So it only makes sense to nickname our baby... Piglet.

{2016} A New Year for the Olivers

2015 was INSANE.

January.... Jose and I spend time together without our other friends. It was our first time alone together.

February.... Jose says he wants to date but only if it is serious enough to go to the temple. I say yes. We start dating.

March.... Jose and I, along with some other friends, go to San Diego for my birthday! While there, Jose and I talk about marriage.

April.... Jose proposes. I say yes. We are engaged.

May.... Jose and I go apartment hunting. We find an apartment. We also take engagement photos.

June.... Jose and I send out wedding invitations. At the end of the month, I move into our apartment.

July..... Jose and I kneel at the alter and are sealed together for time and all eternity.

August to December.... Jose and I live happily together. We have our setbacks, and our successes. But no matter what we are together.

This year we fell in love, got married, traveled to San Diego, Seattle, and Las Vegas. We lost Korah and got Sky. We watched friends and family get married. We celebrated each month of marriage and continuously fell in love with each other over and over.

I am so grateful for everything 2015 has brought to us and I cannot wait to see what 2016 will bring!

Christmas Traditions {Lights at Temple Square}

On Thursday, December 3, Jose and I went to see the lights on Temple Square with some of my family. It's something I had always dreamed of doing with the man who would be my husband. This year, I actually have a husband to go with! So we bundled up and walked around Temple Square. We saw the statue of Christ and listened to the nativity story on the lawn. As I looked at Mary and Joseph, I admired how supportive and understanding Joseph was to Mary. And then it hit me. My Jose is supportive and understanding too. My Jose is caring and kind. As I stood watching the nativity, I felt so much gratitude and love for my husband. I'm so grateful we had the opportunity to visit the temple grounds and reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ.

Also, it's so much better with a husband to keep you warm. 

My first {sleep} setback

Yesterday and last night sucked for me. I was so tired from the night before of crate training and having a whining puppy that I had not slept very well. I got an extra half hour but even that wasn't going to help me. By 6, I was exhausted and fading out of every conversation. I could feel the dead stare and my brain slowing everything down, but my eyes were staying open. I was so tired I kept thinking just 5 minutes would help, and then having Jose tell me I had to stay awake.

On our way home I was so tired my eyes kept shutting and Jose would bump me to keep me awake. I got home and went to the bedroom. I knelt down beside the bed and prayed for help staying awake. Though at the time I wanted nothing more than to climb into the bed and sleep. 

At 8 I curled up on the couch with a Dr. Pepper in hand and cried because I was so tired I couldn't think about anything but the headache creeping in and the hours I had left until I could sleep. 

One thing I had forgotten to ask the doctor was if I could go to sleep before the required time. Last night I got my answer. I was so tired that at 9:30 I crawled into bed and hoped that it would be for the night. No such luck. I woke up at 12:30 feeling refreshed and ready to do stuff, but I forced myself to lie there until I fell asleep. So I finally did, but I have to find a way to follow the schedule and not throw it off like that again.  

  

A Diagnosis {Finally}

I have always felt like my sleep habits were weird. Somehow they weren't right. I would not sleep at night, and instead sleep a lot during the day in a series of naps. During high school, this was each class period, followed by a nap after school.

Recently I have had a hard time falling asleep until 2, 3, or 4 in the morning. Then I would sleep until 12, 1, or 2, followed by a nap around 6 or 7. I've become so frustrated by it that a few months ago I went to the doctor requesting a sleep doctor. First we did a blood test and determined I was vitamin D and B12 deficient. So I started taking supplements and then got another blood test. With that, everything was normal, but my sleep habits had not changed. So I scheduled an appointment with a sleep doctor.

Yesterday, I took in my sleep journal, told the sleep doctor everything, and answered all his questions. Then I got the diagnosis.

Delayed Onset Sleep, or Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome 

"...is a neurological sleep disorder in which a person's sleep/wake cycle is delayed with respect to the external day/night cycle. The person is unable to fall asleep until the wee hours, typically somewhere between 2 am and 6am, and sleeps correspondingly longer in the daytime, often well into the afternoon."

Totally me.

So now begins the treatment process. We are going the natural route, trying to adjust my internal clock using habits and light to move the clock up. It's going to take at least 3 months to change the clock. If it works though I will be living a normal humans life schedule. That would be amazing. It would be the first time in my life that I feel like I can live like a normal person and not be tired all the time.

Go here if you want to know more.

A {new} chapter

This past week has been HARD. A week ago I said goodbye to my 1 1/2 year old puppy, Korah. She had passed away in Jose's arms within hours of me waking up and heading out on errands. It was completely unexpected. My only saving grace was that Jose held her as she left this world. It could have happened in so many different ways, but this way I didn't have to be there. I didn't have to see it. I can only thank Heavenly Father for that. I know that I would not have been able to handle it.

Since then I have grieved, and celebrated her life. I found several ways to honor her, and so many daily tasks that remind me of her. It's been really tough living in this apartment without a puppy though. I've had moments that I am totally fine, and others where I break down because there is no puppy to cuddle with and love until Jose comes home.

A few weeks ago Jose and I had talked about getting another dog. A border collie. We had emailed a few people and started looking at the finances for one. Once this happened, I thought it would be put on hold until at least November. But I have felt such an absence in my life that we hopped online a few days ago "just to look". We found the girl that would be our new puppy.

It's not that I am trying to replace Korah. I will always remember her. I just need my daily antidepressant cuddles from a puppy. And when you see this girl you will understand why I feel we couldn't wait for a different pup.

To Korah {With Love}

My Darling Korah,

I remember well the day I brought you home. I picked you up from the airport and cuddled you the whole way. You went under the couch twice that day, and Uncle Ben and I carefully pulled you out each time. The look on your face told me immediately that it was a game. You loved me instantly.

Once there was a time that you fell off the bed. I scooped you into my arms and for the rest of the day you stuck by me. You napped in my lap and cried when I left. I was there for you that day, and the day a year later when you tripped going up the stairs. You took a few steps before plopping down and sending up a huge cry to me. I picked you up and held you. Such a drama queen, but I loved it.

I got to take you on so many adventures with me. We went to an anime convention where you cosplayed. We went to lacrosse games. We went to Seattle, where you got to go to the top of the space needle and tour the Seahawks stadium. You went on a boat tour and a ferry ride. We went to Vancouver Canada where you got to see where Uncle Ben would be spending 2 years. We went to Arizona where you played with your Great-Grandma and we celebrated Christmas together. We went to Minnesota and on the way we saw Mt. Rushmore. I took you everywhere I could.

You were my constant companion. When I was feeling down, you cheered me up. When I was sick, you stayed with me to help me feel better. You could always tell when something was wrong. Once you brought me your toy and when I threw it, you brought it back, placed it in my hand and laid on it. You wanted me to have it. You wanted me to be happy.

When I met Jose, I brought him over to spend time with you. I wanted to see how you were with him, because you were particular about your people. It was wonderful to watch you bond with him and want to be with him.

You gave me some great memories. I will always remember giving you a bath, and holding you close after. How you would shake the water off once we were outside. How you would sit for me while I brushed you. I will always remember driving in the car with you. How excited you would get when I asked if you wanted to go for a ride. How you would stick your tongue out when the window was down. The little nose prints you always left behind. I will always remember your little face begging for food under the table. How you would stuff your chin between my legs and open your eyes wide. I will always remember the things you learned. You learned to dance. You learned to kiss. You learned to tell stories and sing. You learned to say “I love you”. I will always remember your sweet personality. How similar it was to mine. You always had to have the biggest stick. You hated being left alone. You wanted cuddles and hugs but on your terms. You never took crap from any other dogs. You took on a malamute in a race and won. You were determined to get what you wanted. You were determined to make me smile, and you always did.

I love you Korah. You were and always will be my first baby.

Love,
Mom

{Family}

I’ve been thinking a lot about family recently. It’s always been my understanding that in one way or another anyone sealed in the temple is sealed to our giant eternal family. So in my mind and to people close to me I have always said, “Family is what you make it.”

As a child I grew up with three brothers and no sisters. It was great at times to have brothers, and in other times, I just needed a sister. So I went outside my house to find some and was blessed with three sisters, Rilee, Dawniel, and Emily. These girls were my saving grace at times and other times, we fought like sisters do. While developing this sisterhood with them, I came to find a second mother in Ilene and another father in Joe. This family embraced me as a sister and daughter nearly 15 years ago.

 

All but one of them I should say. It took Camille a bit longer to accept me as a part of the family and it wasn’t until after she got married and, if I remember correctly, sometime while she was pregnant with her first child 4 years ago that she finally started to open up to me and my role in her sisters’ and parents’ lives.

I’m happy to say that now it is easy for her to call me her sister and an aunt to her babies. And I am so happy to call her kids my niece and nephew and to call her my sister. The day I got married I received invaluable advice from her that only a sister would give. She is an incredible wife and mother and I am so grateful to be able to call her a sister.

I have another couple of girls I like to call sister; Stephanie and Heather. Stephanie is actually really a cousin of mine. Last summer she came to live with us for a year and during that time I got to really know her. She also has no birth sisters. So when we got to play sisters for a year, we had a lot of fun with it; she even stole my clothes from time to time. I hope that she sees me as a sister figure as well and knows she can come to me anytime. Heather has been my best friend since the seventh grade. She knows me well enough she can basically read my mind and match my clothes no matter what. She has seen me through some bad times and we’ve enjoyed a lot of good times together.

Since I got married to Jose, my family has grown. I have gained new siblings in Jani, Jared, Monica, and Herlan. I have six new nieces and a new nephew. I have two more people to call my parents, Daysi and Antonio. I am so blessed to have joined such a close knit family and become a part of their lives.

 

I also realized that Jose has several other guys he calls brothers, and more of our close friends that are a part of our family too: Paul and his soon-to-be-wife Ziti, Paul and his girlfriend Ena, Miles, and the Guzman family. The Guzman boys, David and Diego, are brothers to Jose but I knew them long before he did. I lived next door to them for a few years when I was really little. So to me, David, Diego, Jenny and the whole Guzman family is my family as well.

Even with all this family I have adopted into my life, I have my “birth” family as well. I have three awesome brothers, Grant, Garrett, and Ben. I have a sister, Caisa, who has been a comfort and friend to me in time of need. I have a nephew. I have parents, Jeff and Wendy, who supported me throughout my life and led me to become the woman I am today.

I am incredibly blessed.

I would also like to point out that I have some amazing cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, even neighbors who I have called “Uncle” or “Grandpa” or “Mom” who have contributed to my life in some way. Whether trusting me to babysit, or taking me shooting, or teaching me something new, each have left a memory that I cherish. I hope in some way I have returned the favor and expressed my appreciation for you in my life.

Thank you all for being my family.